Sohma Kyo and the Half Blood Princess
by Shaposhit
Summary: One fine day, Kyo comes across a book of insightful and enlightening poems, and is soon addicted to the writer's work. Not knowing that the author is Yuki, he falls head over heels for this mysterious poet. YukixKyo
1. Prologue: The Book Thief

**I**** got the idea for this fic while I was riding my bike down a very steep hill...bad idea, I know. But I got the idea to write a fic with the title "Ignorance Is Bliss", and I started wondering what I should write it about...KyoxYuki, obviously. I'm a poet. Poets be as poets do. Pairings...YukixKyo, KyoxYuki, whatever you want to call it. Rated T. **

**Actually I might call it "Sohma Kyo and the Half-Blood Princess".**

**Disclaimer: I be a disclaimer. I disclaim. So here I am, disclaiming. EKAKI DOES NOT OWN FRUITS BASKET HOWEVER MUCH SHE MAY WANT TO ALTHOUGH SHE IS RATHER GOOD AT FANARTING IT! There's also some Half-Blood Prince crossovers, so I don't own Harry Potter either. Only the Holy Goddess J.K. Rowling may have that honor.**

**Yeah, I fanart. I'm working on one with Shigure dressed up as Miroku from InuYasha. It's coming along great.**

**Kyo looks so freakin' CUTE in his gi. -huggles manga-  
**

* * *

The ache vibrated through Kyo's battered body, causing him to flinch visibly. He blinked, leaning on the conveniently placed doorway. He would just rest here...recover, until he could make his way back to his room, where he could collapse onto the bed, too sore to go up to the roof, mutter curses into the blankets and eventually fall asleep - at 4 pm - just to avoid going back downstairs. His toned muscles ached. His bones ached. His very blood ached. Even his _eyelashes _ached. 

Kyo had just come upstairs after a fight with Yuki, and lost again. He always did, but he kept on coming back for more. Kyo had started craving those fights, like an author in the middle of a story craves her computer. He would start them with an idle insult, hoping against hope that Yuki would take him up and fight, they would trade casual, unnecessary punches, and then Yuki would beat him easily. It was become routine.

Kyo knew the outcome every time he started the fights, but he found himself coming back, always. With every punch Yuki landed, Kyo found himself softening a little into the contact, smiling a little (but only in the back of his mind), making himself just that much easier to defeat.

_Is that sick? How I _enjoy _being hit?_

The ache sometimes felt like his body couldn't contain it - when that happened, he bit one of his own fingers, which he did now. It helped, a little, like squeezing one of your parent's hands when you get your ears pierced - not that Kyo knew what that felt like. The throbbing in his right arm let up a little. Kyo took his index finger out of his mouth, dismayed to see a line of thick blood running down it to pool in his palm. In disgust, he brushed it against the side of his pants, leaving a red smear. He moaned. He would have to wash these himself - Tohru would ask.

Kyo's gaze wavered, at last bringing what he was seeing into focus. A blurry focus, but a focus all the same. The room belonging to the doorway he was resting on was...Yuki's? Yes...and there was his own room, alllllll the way down the hall. Maybe...he could rest here just a few moments more. Assuming Yuki did not return from where he'd gone to work in the garden, or whatever.

His foot moved forward, taking one more step to the comfort waiting at the end of the hall, but it ran into a pile of...what? Of seemingly randomly assembled junk, piled just inside Yuki's open door. He blinked again, and found that he had dropped to his knees, and his hands were shifting through the pile, pulling out first a couple CDs on the top. _Us and Them. Leave a Whisper. Let Go. RENT. _An ivory bathrobe. The phrase "Curiosity killed the cat" echoed through his mind, searching for a neuron that cared to connect to. It found none.

Then he came across the book.

It looked like any ordinary novel, or maybe a diary. It was hardbacked, and of a deep, rich brown color, trimmed in gold. Kyo, running a finger down one of the gold streaks, found that it wasn't gold leaf, but golden glitter. How cheap. You could probably buy a bottle of that crap at the corner Wall-Mart for less than two hundred yen. Kyo glanced around surreptitiously. Would it be stealing...if he took this book? He'd return it. He just wanted to look at it...there was something about the cool feeling of the cover under his fingers that intrigued him.

Kyo moved to his feet in one fluid motion, dashing down the hall to his room, aches suddenly forgotten in the rush. Finally collapsing onto his slightly cool, soft bed he found that the book was still in his hand. He waited for his breath to slow, for his heart rate to calm down, for the adrenaline to stop pumping through his blood. He wiped a thin layer of sweat off his forehead.

Flipping the book open, Kyo noted the obvious lack of a copyright page. In place of a title page, there was only this inscription in flowing calligraphy:

_"This is a book of poems_

_I tell you to beware_

_Some you may find disturbing_

_Read onwards if you dare."_

Around the words, there was a hand-drawn illustration of eight roses, connected by one vine, circling the print. Kyo bent his nose closer to the pages, to inspect what seemed to be a bad print job - the roses had dark blotches smeared all over them. His eyes widened in shock when he found the blotches to be bloodstains. He let out a little gasp when he realized that the bloodstains were drawn in - they were _supposed _to be there.

_Yeah...that's kind of disturbing, _Kyo mused, agreeing with the author. The next page was marked "1", seemingly the start of the book. A poem, or set of poems, per page.

_"I imagine..._

_I imagine moonlight to be cool to the touch_

_I imagine it to be smooth_

_I imagine it to smell like snow on a cold winter's dawn_

_I imagine moonlight to be fickle _

_I imagine it to leap about when you try to catch it_

_Or even stretch out a hand to caress the wings of graceful moonlight_

_Like a ripple_

_I imagine it doesn't care what I think about it_

_I imagine moonlight doesn't give a damn about me_

_I imagine it would think the Earth would be better off if I wasn't on it  
_

_Moonlight reminds me _

_Of myself."_

_Hardly disturbing. _Kyo read the poem several times. He felt something inside of him, something restless, calm down and settle back into place. A cool feeling calmed the ache in his heart - but did absolutely nothing for his sore muscles. He blinked, trying to concentrate on the poem, to read it once again, but the pain in his leg brought him back down to Earth. _I need an Advil...and then I can read the next poem._

Kyo's feet padded lightly down the stairs, his hand traced the wall, steadying him, but his mind was back in his room, mulling over the poem again. And again. _What could that line mean…? And when…? _It was almost a shock to him when he found himself outside the downstairs bathroom, next to the medicine cabinet. Dreamlike, he reached out one hand to open the medicine cabinet door, only to find he wasn't as close to it as he'd thought. Kyo took a step forward, looking like some kind of absurd one-armed zombie. His somewhat sweaty hand grasped the handle, just barely slipping, yanking it open.

The back of the Advil bottle stated two pills for him. Kyo tipped the bottle, pouring out three, and replaced one back into the lavender sea that was the economy-sized Advil bottle. He popped one into his mouth, and was popping the second, when...

The bathroom door creaked open. Kyo felt a shimmer of dismay (and...? What else? You can do this, Kyonkichi!) when a hint of grey hair appeared around the door - a slim, graceful body followed it. Yuki glanced at the Cat, Advil bottle in his hand, pain in his crimson eyes, the same hurt echoed in his tense stance. Yuki said nothing, merely tilted his chin in a classic "I'm so much better than you" gesture, liquid amethyst eyes filled with distain, and strode away, hips swaying slightly.

Kyo ground his fist into the wall. Yuki just _had _to catch him at a moment like this, when filled with weakness and pain he'd given in to the painkiller, only proving to Yuki that he'd managed to truly defeat Kyo once more. Yuki was _so frickin' insensitive. _He didn't give a damn about Kyo's feelings, he didn't stop for a minute to consider that he had actually sprained Kyo's ankle - Kyo himself had just realized this. Yuki was _so _full of himself.

_Unlike whoever wrote those poems, _Kyo thought to himself. _I'm sure whoever that author is understands what it feels like when no one cares about you._

_Unlike Princess Yuki, here._

* * *

**I just made Kyo sound like a total druggie..."give in to the painkiller". I meant that he considers it weak to take Advil. Silly Kyonkichi. Now, if he said "I like Children's Motron! Tastes gooood!" THAT would be freaky.**

**And, YES, the first chapter is freakishly short. It's sort of a prologue - Kyo finds the book and is already comparing Yuki to the author - second chap is lots longer, and on it's way.**

**  
Please review! I want to know what you think of my sucky poetry! And I need your help in vanquishing the evil floating dolphin! You know, the one with the naginata, over next to the**** shizophrenic turtle with the Holy Hand Grenade of Street Cred.  
**

* * *


	2. Ch 1: The Dream

**Here we go! Chapter Two, and a pattern emerges...**

**Yeah, the second poem shouldn't have shown up until WAY later, but let's just say there was an accident involving a pencil, a bookmark, a girl, and a time machine.**

**By the way, the chopsticks part actually happens once in the manga. Oh, and these poems aren't haikus…they're just three-liners, with the first and last ones rhyming.**

_**Pure syllable shit**_

_**Whoever thought up haikus**_

_**Was a cruel sadist**_

* * *

"Aaahhh!" Kyo let out the sigh of relief, sinking back onto the bed, arms thrown casually out to the sides. He shifted his left to pick up the book of poems. Despite Yuki's icy stare, he'd made his way back to his room, spirits relatively undampened, with the promise of more of the understanding, if morbid, touch this author brought. The next poem, however, didn't touch him in quite the same way. It more like made him want to puke. 

_"Butterfly wings of sunlight_

_Sugar-sweet smile full of warmth_

_Love me? You might."_

The next one seemed too trivial, and it frustrated Kyo. Where was this beautiful, slightly depressed writing he had experienced while rereading the_ Moonlight _poem? He glanced at the clock.

_"You'll bring me grief_

_You ruin snowfall - you'll ruin me_

_Love me? Love my maple leaf?"_

The one underneath it, on the same page (they all seemed to go together), connected more with him. Kyo found his hand drifting up to brush against his orange locks, an intense look in his eyes that he usually only got during a fight with Yuki or while training at Shishou's.

_"You brushed me off as a kid_

_You didn't care, maybe now you do_

_Love me? Fat lot of good it did."_

This mysterious author's sadistic streak was making a much-wanted re-appearance. This poem made Kyo clench his hand into a fist, razor-sharp claws - er, fingernails - digging into the palm of his hand, although if it hurt, Kyo didn't notice.

_"We coexisted_

_You told me I was black, like your heart_

_Love me? You're twisted!"_

The next one was bringing back that painful ache, not in his Advil-eased muscles, but deep in his chest. Kyo loved that feeling - it proved he was alive, it filled him with a not-entirely bad sensation of desperate longing. For some reason, when he caught that feeling of un-satiateable need, a hint of lavender drifted into his nose, making Kyo sneeze, a hint the corner of a thickly-lashed eye drifted into his mind, making Kyo uncomfortable, restless. This time, though, Kyo welcomed the feeling

_"Hair so warm_

_Passion so hot_

_Love me? Not! - this I mourn."_

A sigh escaped his lips. He could _totally _agree with the author on this point - that feeling of wanting someone but knowing they could never love you back - perhaps all the zodiac knew how that felt. Except Yuki. Kyo was absolutely sure Yuki had never felt this way about anyone - that damned Rat was too distant, too removed, too frosty. He would never feel this bare instinct, longing. He was too refined. Too. Fucking. Perfect. Kyo hated him. But now he was drifting, and his stomach was alterting him of the fact that it was probably almost time for din-din.

Kyo glanced at the clock again to confirm - he was right for once, and it was time for dinner. And if this _was _Yuki's book, he was sure Yuki could never fully appreciate the meaning behind those sad, deep words, and Yuki wouldn't be missing it. It HAD been under all that other crap. Kyo was sure that Yuki wouldn't give a damn. It wouldn't matter to Yuki if there was one book missing - the Rat had far too many books, already. Kyo generally wasn't much for reading. Generally.

Kyo placed the book delicately by his bed, glanced at it, thought for a moment, and grabbed his crumpled gi from the corner, throwing it over the book. Just in case Yuki were to, for some unbeknownst reason, walk by his room and happen to see the stolen property lying unprotected in the open. Kyo didn't want the book taken back, he wanted to keep reading it - but then Tohru or Shigure or (God forbid!) Yuki might come up to check on him. Good as his reflexes were, they weren't good enough to hide a book if his door opened suddenly, and only Tohru knocked.

The screen door slid back to reveal Tohru, hand poised to knock. Kyo smiled - a bit blankly, maybe - a little at the effort she always made, at her surprised expression. "Oh! Kyo-kun, I was just coming up to get you!"

"I'd noticed."

They walked together, down the hall, with Tohru in front down the stairs. She was talking about something involving that damn Yuki's garden, and how the whatever was sure to add whatsit to tonight's meal, the only words that really caught Kyo's attention were "food" and "meal". His stomach decided to accent this with an audible growl.

"Kyo-kun is hungry?" Tohru, always pointing out the obvious.

"Uh, yeah," Kyo said. If it wasn't for her so-damn-kind demeanor, he would have said something along the lines of _No, my stomach is making a noise akin to a cement mixer because I'm so damn full._

"You sure took a lo-ong time up there," Shigure remarked, eyes twinkling. Kyo rolled his eyes - it hadn't been funny the first time, and it wasn't funny now. Shigure was sitting at the head of the table - something he claimed gave him an air of "Darth Vader-ness" - while Yuki had taken a seat on the left side. Tohru sat next to him, making Kyo twitch slightly, and sit down across from her.

_"Itadakimasu," _Shigure chirped, Tohru beaming and adding in her two cent's worth, the others echoing her in slightly less enthusiastic voices. "Now, now, that's hardly grateful, now is it? Let's hear it again!"

"_Itadak-_" Tohru started, but the Dog gleefully covered her mouth with one slightly-callused hand. "Oh, Tohru-kun, you're plenty grateful, I was talking about _them._"

Two sullen teenagers glared back. Shigure waited.

_"Itadakimasu_," Kyo growled, voice heavy with forced reluctance. Once Yuki had repeated the words to Shigure's satisfaction, they could _finally _eat. Kyo's chopsticks were nimble, hungrily picking out some tasty tidbits Tohru had prepared - some of them had obviously been thought up just with his tastes in mind - the salmon roe, for instance. She was so thoughtful like that.

CLACK. Kyo's chopsticks collided with Yuki's in the air, leaving his hand vibrating with absorbed force. One of his cream-colored chopsticks flew across the room, barely missing Tohru's head, clattering softly against the wall before dropping, like a shot bird (no offense, Kureno), to the polished floor. Kyo hardly noticing this, as he was too busy taking offense at what Yuki was doing - namely, throwing his own chopsticks in the sink.

"YOU'RE THROWING THEM OUT?!"

"I don't want your germs, stupid cat," Yuki gave him that princely sneer again, resuming his seat while Kyo stewed silently.

"Yuki-kun, are you sick?" Tohru asked, after a several minutes of idle conversation between her and the pervert sitting at the end of the table. Yuki's plate was nearly untouched, while several of his usual favorites were on the table tonight - or they had been, before Shigure had taken most of them. One could see her reasoning, especially since Yuki seemed to have bags under his eyes. One could also practically see her reasoning, her face was so open - right now it was worried. Kyo wasn't listening. "You usually eat more..."

"No, Honda-san, I'm fine," Yuki smiled a tired smile, turning his head to look at her. "I just can't find my – never mind."

Kyo might have read more into this, might have figured out something that was v_ery _important and _very _relevant, if he wasn't so intent on blatantly ignoring Yuki and Yuki's feelings.

_After dinner, I think I'll read some more of that book._

* * *

**Kyo does not make sense, neh? Well, I'm adding in this note because I originally thought to make this a different chapter. I decided not to. I did re-write a whole lot of this chapter, because Kyo was focusing too much on Yuki, and I wanted him to stop inferring and shut up and read. I am giving his subconscious a couple not-so-subtle nudges, though.**

**When I was about, say, four, I insisted on sitting at the head of the table because Darth Vader did in one of the movies I owned.**

**And, yes, this poem is based on the song The Dream by Shinedown, but the chapter title has more to do with Kyo's overly active evil demon teenage hormones. **

* * *

"_Whisper in the tombstones_

_Toss and turn in your grave_

_You lie there in the ground_

_Your spirits rant and rave_

_From what I see and what I feel_

_Your angry soul has been restless_

_So I suggest I help calm you_

_Before you make a larger mess_

_Time your tantrums right_

_And I just may fall for you_

_I caution, think before you act_

_But you never do_

_Love and lust, love and hate_

_It all goes hand in hand_

_Throw yourself to instincts_

_Leave your body to it's own, un-manned_

_I hope that you're still trying_

_To win the fight you'll always lose_

_And that you have someone's shoulder_

_To cry on and wail your boo-hoos_

_Before you are locked away_

_And your will begins to crack_

_I just wanted to tell you_

_I loved you, you never loved me back."_

There was something about this poem. Something so sad, something so intense, something that drove it's way home inside Kyo's surprisingly tender heart. Something that connected all too well with his own life, although he didn't realize it at the time. Kyo felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes, and for once didn't brush them away.

He did have his pride though, and wouldn't sob, he would be silent, or perhaps someone might hear him and decide to check on him - how many times had he told people he didn't _need _their pity, their love. Tohru was different. She would accept him, and that was different from what Kagura did, the way she thrust her feelings on him. Kyo quite honestly believed Shigure didn't _have _feelings. Yuki didn't either. He _couldn't. _He was just an object, an object in his path to freedom, an object that had to be obliterated.

A noise from outside the door – hurried footsteps, concerned breathing. Kyo thrust the poem book under the sheet, leaping over the book so that his body would hide the lump, should his door open. _I'm _so _paranoid. There's no one out there.  
_

But a knock sounded at his door – or, at least, Kyo thought there was a knock. It was soft, almost tentative, and there was only one light thump against the sliding door. Kyo waited for another knock, to convince him that whoever was on the other side of the door really did want to talk to him, and that he hadn't been imagining the knock in the first place. And so the cat waited.

No second knocks came.

_I guess I was imagining it, _Kyo mused. More sounds, not knocks, came from the hallway – they were more rushed, flustered footsteps, hastening to stop at every room down the hallway. Kyo – with his sharp little kitty ears – could have sworn he heard a hushed, naturally sensuous, delicate voice breathe, "Did I leave I in…oh, hell, where is it?!"

But maybe he was imagining it. Or maybe Haru lost Kisa again.

Somehow, Kyo doubted it. Maybe Shigure had lost his favorite pen, or Tohru...no. It couldn't be Tohru, she would never talk like that. So it was Shigure, fussing over something trivial - maybe this time it was the picture taken of him and Aya on the Tunnel of Love. The picture he had refused to show to Hiro, Kisa, and Momiji, telling them he would when they were older.

_But in none of the seven hells did Shigure ever sound like that..._

Kyo brushed the thought off, like a pissed-off horse brushes away flies (or guys who are hitting on her).

* * *

Kyo lay in bed – he had woken up a half hour after falling asleep, mind too restless to settle down and go to sleep, no matter how much his body wanted to – gazing at his ceiling, wishing it wasn't there, that he could stare off into space. He muttered a curse, rolling out of bed and climbing onto the roof so that he could loose himself in the starry expanse. 

The stars. They shone down at Kyo, pressed firmly into the soft black backdrop that was the midnight sky like little mints in a jewelry box. Kyo let out a long, slow breath. _This _was peace.

The Cat's bare foot had been tapping out a little rhythm against the tiles of the roof, but it calmed and lay flat, Kyo following suit. He lay on this roof so often, it was more like home to him than the house beneath it. Kyo was an outdoors person. He didn't thrive closed in by walls, he flourished in places like this.

_Places like…this? _Kyo thought incoherently, before the sandman came to visit.

_Hanajima, waving at Kyo, decked out in her horrible, graceful, pure black Cinderella dress, a plate of yakiniku in her other hand. Kyo shuddered. Even in his dream, he could feel the aura of mystique and terror that surrounded the vibe girl._

_Tohru, wearing her own beautiful stepsister gown, hand on Hana's shoulder, smiling. Kyo let out a breath with relief – his Tohru would take keep her friend from doing something…dangerous. Uo-chan, Tohru's other best friend, her get-up just as outrageously medieval as the other two – Uo was a prince, a prince who would probably marry the stepsister or Cinderella if Prince Charming didn't, Kyo realized. That was so wrong. Yet so right._

_Ayame, adjusting Uotani's costume to perfection. He tweaked the collar a little, shortened one of the ties, and then started on decorating her pants. The silver-haired man was slapped when his hand strayed a little too close to Uo's butt. He apologized, so she let him keep adding fringes to the hem of her shirt. Mine was standing next to the pair, handing Aya items like scissors or pieces of silky ribbon occasionally when he asked for them, smiling her cheerful smile._

_A Sprite can. Why was there a Sprite can blocking his vision? Kyo stared at it in disbelief as the can of lemon-lime goodness sprouted little yellow-green wings and flew away, but not before sticking it's tongue out at Kyo's startled face. Kyo was suddenly thirsty.  
_

'_Somebody's spiked the Sprite,' Kyo thought. 'It's drunk. And flying away…'_

_Where was Yuki? The whole gang was here, even Mine, but Yuki was nowhere to be seen. As if on cue to Kyo's thoughts, Yuki spun out from behind the curtain, having finally got his fairy godmother costume on. He seemed to be practicing for the ballet of Cinderella instead of the play, because after piquéing out into the center of the fitting room, he spun elegantly on the ball of one foot, right into a fouetté turn – but his foot caught on his own trailing robe, sending him flying, straight into Kyo's arms._

_Kyo was startled when Yuki didn't get up and brush himself off, only tilted his head up at Kyo, possibly committing homicide, smiling rather sheepishly, but happily, like a small child, and held out a can of 7up, it's own little silver wings fluttering inadequately._

"_The 7up's been trying to fly as fast as the Sprite, but it can't make it…I've been trying to get them to stop fighting… "_

_There was a rim-shaped bruise on the 7up's 7. Kyo self-consciously brought his finger up to lightly touch the knuckle-shaped bruise on his own cheek._

"…_the 7up finally managed to understand how the Sprite was feeling…look what happened…"_

_A half-sized can flew by Kyo's nose. When it circled a bit farther away, Kyo could read what it said on the side, next to the nutrition facts. 7ite. Kyo _really_ didn't want to know._

_Yuki's grip on Kyo's upper arms tightened, and Kyo found himself looking down into those wide, uncharacteristically content, sparkling mauve eyes, and a warmth spread through his body, almost, but not entirely, unlike that sensation you get when you sip a hot apple cider on a cold winter night. Kyo was finding it hard to hold Yuki up, so the gray-haired boy dropped, like a feather, to his knees, still supported by Kyo._

_Kyo turned around to face Tohru. She was talking nonchalantly to her friends, giving them a lovably eager smile, exuding an aura of complete happiness and peace. Kyo removed the crown he was wearing, and tossed it to her._

"_Here. You can be Prince Charming…I'll be the fairy godfather, or something…"_

_The redhead turned back to Yuki, and dropped to his knees on top of some of the excess flowing godmother robes _(note to self ask Ayame to trim those a little_, Kyo thought), enfolding the slender boy in his warm arms, tipping his head so that he was nose to nose with Yuki, and, closing his eyes—_

Just as Kyo woke up, he heard Hanajima say, "_Tohru-sama_? _I think that may be my Air Nike, er, my slipper._" and Tohru reply, "_Oh! It is! It fits! Then, I have finally found the beautiful young maiden who I had the pleasure of meeting at the ball…that lovely-one night stand…your smile reminded me…your hair in the moonlight…_"

Kyo, now fully awake, saw the first rosy hints of the dawn peek out through the grove of trees to the east, and shivered with the early-morning cold that he would long for later in the heat of the day. Someday he would get a bad cold, and regret all those nights sleeping on the roof, but until then, he would enjoy having his head in the air and the welcome reality of the nippy wind.

Finally some sanity. Something real. Kyo didn't quite remember his dream, three minutes after waking up from it, but he knew it involved soda (flying soda!), and he also knew it involved his overly active teenage hormones and…someone. That part he couldn't remember, or maybe that was the part he didn't want to remember. One part of his self wanted to run long and hard, get his hair out of his face, feel that rush, calm down, and the other part wanted to fall back asleep into the dream, continue…whatever he'd been doing in the dream. Kyo couldn't remember. Wouldn't remember. But now, it was slipping through his fingers, and Kyo honestly tried to recall it, but he couldn't manged. He shrugged it off.

_Pro'lly wasn't important, anyway._

The spring was turning slowly into summer, Kyo could see. The tree he used to love to climb had dropped most of it's blossoms and some small green things were beginning to grow along the length of it's graceful branches. Kyo could always predict the season's progress with that tree. Today, the elegant arch of that one particular branch – Kyo used to like to pull himself up on it and relax up there – reminded him of a lock of hair, a lock too short, too curved, to be Tohru's.

_Say what?_

…

_That was weird.  
_

_Why am I craving citrus?_

* * *

**Yay! Is this one a better length? I wanted to have some evidence that Kyo had feelings too, but I didn't want him to know it...I just wanted to hint, but I'm no good at hinting. My hints are generally anvil-sized, to quote J.K. Rowling. And anvil-shaped. -throws Kyo an anvil that says "You like Yuki, Einstein"-**

**Kyo: Ooof!**

**Me: Get the hint?**

**Kyo: I can't read...**

**Me: Oh, brother...**

**Ayame: Yes?**

* * *


	3. Ch 2: I Wanna Hold Your Hand

**Well, this one is kinda weird because I didn't really want this much real-world this early in, but I decided to write it in because it's based on my experiences. We were learning First Nation (kinda like Native American except more Canadian-like) dances, and we just HAD to learn the Owl Dance, which is a pairs dance, so I was paired with this guy who was like a foot shorter than I am, and I'm on the short side, so it was weird, and he was like doing this weird galloping thing and I was like "It's a shuffle! A SHUFFLE, you motherfucker dumbass!" and then after we finished the dance, he wouldn't let go of my hand, and I was like jerking it like a dead fish, and he still wouldn't let go, and I was like _How less subtle can you get? _so then I bitch-slapped him and he let go.**

**One song glory... **

* * *

"Mrlph," Kyo's shoulder vibrated from the sound being spoken into it, a result of the fact that his cousin had just stumbled into the cat, who was still seated at the table and _trying _to eat breakfast after his early start. Kyo twitched, somehow unwilling to move away and let poor sleepy-head Yuki fall and smash his nose in, but he wanted him off all the same. 

Or did he…?

"_Get off me!_" Kyo scooted backwards, moving outside Yuki's base of support. As if in slow-motion, Kyo watched in horror as Yuki's head slipped forward without Kyo's sturdy shoulder to lift it, one of his bare feet shuffled as though to stop his fall, as though to stop gravity, but it skidded instead, throwing the gray-haired adolescent lightly across Kyo's lap. A moment of silence. Kyo, frozen with shock, was half-expecting a puff of smoke.

"If you all would please bow your heads for the soon-to-be-deceased Sohma Yuki," Shigure said, in a thoroughly serious voice.

Kyo grabbed Yuki's shoulders roughly, as the rat was still face-down across his lap, and pulled him upright. More upright. Yuki's eyes were still closed, but now at least he was on his knees, albeit supported by Kyo's hands on his arm, and not sprawled out on Kyo. Kyo gave thanks for_ that_. His hands slowly loosened their grip on Yuki's upper arm, where they had been steadying the other boy, and withdrew with relief back to his chopsticks.

Yuki's heavy-lidded eyes were now half-closed with the weight of morning, but what Kyo could see between the two curtains of eyelashes was a hazy, dulled violet so unlike the usual sparkling, if slightly sleepy, look they usually held. If Kyo were someone else, say, Haru, he would be giving thanks to the fact that no one else (other than Tohru and Shigure) got to see this endearing, sleepy side of the Prince. Perhaps Kyo, somewhere in the back of his mind, unrealized, was giving thanks anyway.

Yuki swayed for a moment, before gravity got the better of him. One minute there was drunken-looking teenager attempting to get his balance next to Kyo, next moment Kyo was pressed – hard – against the wooden floor, his ear was stinging, and there was a warm, vaguely familiar, body on top of him. Yuki had toppled over, it was bound to happen, but _no_, he couldn't crash his nose in on the table, or fracture his spine, he _had_ to fall on Kyo. Disturbingly enough, one of Yuki's legs was wrapped, almost _seductively,_ around one of Kyo's – most disturbingly of all, Kyo thought he felt Yuki's mouth brush lightly, gently, lovingly against his jaw – but then Yuki went limp, and Kyo was sure he had imagined it. Be that as it may, whether it happened or not, what he was _definitely _not imagining was the fact that Yuki had grabbed Kyo's hand as they went down, and he hadn't let go, that being the reason Kyo had hit the floor so hard.

"Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun!" Tohru screeched, leaping from her seat and scurrying around the table to make sure they were both okay and unharmed by the fall – Kyo decided he was unharmed by the fall, but definitely not okay. Fortunately, by the time Tohru had made it all the way around the table, Kyo had slid out from underneath Yuki's warm, unmoving body – the rat hadn't even made any recognizable sign that Kyo had left him. In fact, he was asleep again, zonked out on the floor, and snoring lightly. _How the hell can that lazy-ass rat be ASLEEP?! I mean, the way his arm's all twisted around, that'd have to wake him up…_

_Wait a minute…_

Yuki. Hadn't. Let. Go. Of. His. Hand.

"Holy shit, LET GO, damn rat!" Kyo yelled – nice move, moving the attention of anyone who hasn't already noticed to the fact that the person usually having his ass kicked was HOLDING HANDS with his tormentor. Kyo jerked his arm, arching his hand as far away from Yuki's as humanly possible, feeling a little guilty when the sweet little curled-up body jolted with the after-effect of his attempt to get away. The cat guilty feeling dissipated instantly when Yuki _still _didn't let go.

"He has a very _firm _grip," Shigure told Kyo obnoxiously, who merely growled and muttered something very obscene and very offensive, while still trying in vain to pry Yuki's hand off, unlace their fingers, but as annoying as Shigure was, he was also very right. Yuki did have a freakishly strong grip. No matter how much he tried, Kyo couldn't get the other boy to let go, and so he wound up eating breakfast with one hand while ignoring the fact that Yuki was sprawled out next to him, the fact that his hand was still held practically in a vice grip, the fact that Yuki actually looked kind of majestically pretty when he didn't speak, move, or glare at Kyo.

_I wish he would just stay like this, _the slightly-perverted thought crossed Kyo's mind, unwanted. _Then he wouldn't piss me off so much, the motherfucking perfect little pansy…hey, what if he didn't wake up…? What then? What would I do if I was alone with Yuki when he was asleep – that already happened once, and believe me, I would _not_ try to attack him again. But what if I was alone with him again… _An image of Yuki, head lolling, breathing in the soft rhythm of a person dreaming sweet dreams, wearing handcuffs (and little else), duct-taped to a chair crossed Kyo's mind. Kyo blamed the economy.

"Mrlph," Yuki said again, cracking a misty eye open, yawning a little, and half-rolling to face Kyo. His eyes shot open in shock. Kyo used the pause while Yuki's brain caught up to the rest of him to mentally prepare the rant he would rave when Yuki finally made the connection between what he was seeing the knowledge stored in his mind. Yuki seemed to have made the transition between dead-to-the-world-but-functioning-normally and alive, because he spoke again. "Shigure…why is the stupid cat holding my hand?"

Kyo jerked his hand back as though it had been burned by a hot branding iron – he felt like he had been. Yuki was so maddening – he was blaming Kyo for something he had initiated, yet again. And he was sitting there with that little smirk on his face, the one that made Kyo want to grab him and wipe that smile off with the floor. "Eat floor, damn rat!" Kyo screeched, throwing himself at Yuki, claws sharp and battle ki flaming.

"In your dreams, stupid cat," Yuki replied coolly, effortlessly dodging the throw Kyo had put his entire strength into as though it were a punch a flailing child had put out in helpless anger devoid of a point. He darted forward, looming in Kyo's vision – oh, Kyo just _had _to be thinking about breakfast at a time like this - before all Kyo could see was a blur of color – all shades of brown, gray, Tohru's blurred face for a brief second, then suddenly a blue expanse misted with white, dappled green, and then the spinning stopped and Kyo came face-to-face with a rock.

"Meet your great-grandparents, rat shit!" Kyo screamed, springing back up to his feet and dashing back up to the house - he'd floor quite far, and taken down the front door - to confront Yuki again. But Yuki just yawned, sitting down to eat, something Kyo had been trying to do before Yuki had managed to ruin his entire morning. Yuki yawned, seemingly to spite him.

"My great-grandparents are dead, Einstein," Yuki said, stifling another yawn.

_That's the point, _Kyo silently fumed, very pissed off. They all claimed he was stupid, but who was the one who wasn't getting his insults?

All the way to school, and indeed all during school, Kyo wasn't thinking about how soft Yuki's hand had been, despite all of the rat's garden work. He wasn't thinking about how warm it had been. In fact, Kyo had almost forgotten that morning's episode, too wrapped up in the fight afterwards, too wrapped up in anger and his own destructive nature to, for one second, ponder the concept of peace, or even to notice that Yuki was distracted. The rat's paw - er, hand - kept drifting down to his bookbag, as though he had been looking for something, only to remember he'd lost it. If Kyo had even been mildly receptive, he also would have noticed that Yuki was writing something, something he kept scratching out and erasing, something he seemed to be dissatisfied with. He made several drafts, but Kyo was just sitting there, hating him, not even bothering to try to read over his shoulder.

Kyo would make a very bad spy.

* * *

_You're trying to climb_

_But the ivy's slick with grime_

_You can't reach that square of sky_

_You can kiss freedom goodbye_

_It's hopeless; you can't win_

_Your chances are thin_

_But she's helping you_

_She's your pit stop crew_

_She's sending you a lifeline_

_She's your Lady So Devine_

_She's saving your life_

_She'll help you through the strife_

_All I can do is watch it_

_Don't botch it!_

_All I can do is annoy you_

_I want to help you, too_

_But all I can do is be a bitch_

_I don't want to get you out of this ditch_

_I want you to survive_

_Your eyes burn; keep that flame alive_

_On the other side of this huge wall_

_An endless, eternal fall_

_It's pure torture_

_A real scorcher_

_Better shut out and in pain_

_Than inside and insane_

* * *

There was an illustration - a tear-blurred view down into a well, and way down at the bottom was a man, hidden in shadow, gazing up. The thing that really struck Kyo about this picture was the man's eyes, a little flame echoed in each one, although there was no evidence of a candle in sight. Also, at the rim of the picture, a woman's hands (they were delicate and had painted fingernails) gripped a rope, and another hand was resting on the edge of the well - the second hand Kyo supposed was a woman's also, by the elongated, uncallused shape they had, although Kyo spend more time studying what appeared to be razor scars on the second hand's wrist. Kyo admired the artist, for he/she had effortlessly made it look as though whoever was gazing down into the well was crying by the blurred view.

He flipped to the front of the book, to check if the artist and the poet were the same person, but the artist's name was nowhere to be seen. Come to think of it, neither was the author's. _Hm...that's odd...a prefessional poet really should sign all her work... _Kyo had started referring to the poet as "her", rather than using a genderless referrence, which would have been more appropriate considering that he had no idea who the hell this person was.

* * *

**Please read the poems! Actually, I hate reading poetry. I just write it. But they're relevent. So...yeah. And PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! By the way, DarkIrony, I thank you for putting the story on Story Alert about five minutes after I uploaded it. Even if you didn't review...-sigh- NO ONE HAS READ MY _BODYGUARD _FIC!**

**I'm going to go depart to the lovely little land of angst I call my room. It's not that late, but I'm an early riser, early sleeper. Like Osaka. Only she just sleeps as often as she can.**

**Hey...I'm gonna give you guys a red herring. -hands cheering crowd a crimson fish-**


	4. Ch 3: The Riddle

**Thanks for the reviews! Tsh, a random funny bit, in reply to Mousecat's review...**

**Kyo: **I am _not _melting!

**Yuki: **-pokes Kyo-

**Kyo: **-sighs and faints-

**Yes, now on with the poetry! -puts on one of those french hat things and pulls out a quill from pocket- _Exactament!_**

**And in case you haven't noticed, the chapter titles are all of a book or song that happens to go with the chapter, considering the fact that the title of the fanfiction is The Half-Blood Princess, I thought it was appropriate. By the way, the title was originally Ignorance Is Bliss, but then I was like "Nuuu...a'cause Kyonkichi has to be all, like, happyish, and not, like, kill himself, because of, like, too much depressing poetry..." and they're not really happy normally, and they're all ('cept Shigure) very ignorant of the ways of the world. And other things. That involve Akito. Not as in, Akito-when-you've-both-had-too-much-sake-and-are-handily-in-her-bedroom, as in, normal I'm-gonna-mentally-torture-you-until-I've-had-my-fill,-got-that,-bitch?-Akito**

**I'll just shut up now.**

**Y'all.**

**Extra disclaimer: Five For Fighting wrote 100 Years, not me. In Furuba, it's more like two for fighting...-pokels Kyo and Yuki-**

* * *

Kyo was tired. Kyo was _very _tired. His eyelids were drooping, his head was lolling, and every so often he had to jerk his eyes back to the page. He couldn't put the book down. It felt as though his hands were glued to the binding. He should have been asleep _hours_ before, in fact he should have been asleep _so _long ago that his alarm was due to go off any minute. But he just couldn't drop the book. 

_You're ten years old, for a moment_

_Caught in between him and your master_

_And you're so frightened_

_You could kill yourself_

_You're seven years old, for a moment_

_You're telling me I'm only bringing grief_

_You're reinforcing that knowlege_

_You're only helping him destroy my spirit_

_Fifteen, there's still time for her_

_There's still time to make her your girl_

_Before it'll all be torn away_

_I wish I could help save you two_

_But there's no way_

_Eighteen years, you've only got eighteen of 'em_

_Eighteen years before you're behind bars_

_Eighteen years to conquer the world_

_Eighteen years to find love_

_But eighteen years is far too short_

_I'll never find the courage_

_You'll never break free_

_She'll never manage to help us_

_He'll keep on doing what he does best_

_Destroying spirits_

_You've got eighteen years_

_But it's eighteen that matter to me_

_Eighteen years for me to find the courage_

_For me to tell you how I feel_

_Eighteen years..._

_I wish for number nineteen_

_#Based on the song 100 Years by Five For Fighting, although this is not meant to be a song. It's a poem. Deal with it, bastard._

Kyo blinked at the odd footnote. Yes, it actually said that. He re-read the poem, pausing every so often - this was certaintly an odd poem. Alarm bells went off in Kyo's head - there was something _too _familiar, _too _insightful about this, but Kyo brushed off the alarm bells, telling himself he was imagining them, telling himself he was making it up. It was just a conincidence, just a sick coincidence, that he was to be locked up on his eighteenth birthday if he didn't defeat Yuki by then.

Speaking of...

Kyo glanced, warily, at the set of weights in the corner of his room. He used to work out every day, he used to dedicate so much of his life to training, to trying to beat Yuki - but now he was spending almost half of that time reading this excellent book - he was a little over halfway done with it now, which he prided himself on. Normally, he couldn't even half-finish books of this length, but this one was just such a good book. Which he turned back to, thinking absentmindedly, _I'll train...later...in a minute...a couple of...poems...or hours..._

The next page was chock full of haikus, one of the hardest kind of poems to write. Kyo really did admire this person. But the poems were blurring in front of his eyes, a result of the fact that he hadn't any sleep to begin with and was rapidly losing what he didn't have, so instead of trying in vain to read them, he rolled over, hand searching for his best silk bookmark (no way was he going to dog-ear this book!), and slipping it inside. Ironic that his best silk bookmark depicted a yin-yang symbol - exactly like him and Yuki.

Now that the book was safely by his bedside, covered, of course, by a scarf Tohru had knitted for him, Kyo could finally sink into his bed. He was asleep almost instantly, dreamlessly.

The next day was Sunday, so Kyo slept through most of it, only waking at noon for lunch and the karate tornament on T.V., falling back asleep at ten p.m. Tohru was worried, but Kyo managed to convince her that he was fine, just a little tired, and needed to catch up on his sleep. He had only one thought, before falling back asleep, which was _"Where did my day go?"_

The next morning, Kyo was up as usual, with the dawn. He had several hours to waste before school, and that was the way he liked. The cat took his time, taking a long shower to ease his tired muscles, straightening up his room a little, and once caught himself staring out the window, just admiring that mixture of dark and day that filled the sky at this time of day. Kyo loved this.

The rest of the house wouldn't be up, but Kyo was getting hungry, so he decided to make his way downstairs for a carton - er, glass - of milk. Passing Shigure's new office (his old one was now known as Kyo's room), Kyo paused, feeling a slight pulse through the wood doorframe. Someone inside was listening to music - music turned on so softly that no one asleep would be woken up by it, music so soft, in fact, that if Kyo hadn't had kitty hearing, he probably wouldn't have noticed it.

Kyo had never heard this song, they never played it on the radio. The thing he noticed first about it was that instead of the usual grunge, drums and electric guitairs, this song was accompanied by a piano, or maybe two pianos, softly playing a solemn rhythm, a melody that sounded to Kyo like teardrops falling on water. The guy singing was singing in a high voice, but he could hit all the notes, and he hit them well, at that. It was indeed, 100 Years.

_Fifteen there's still time for you_

_Time to buy and time to lose_

_Fifteen, there's never a wish better than this_

_When you've only got a hundred years to live_

Kyo felt himself melting into the music, he felt his soul (or heart, whatever) responding to the melancholy melody. What CD was this from? Kyo needed it. He needed it as much as Hana-chan needs chocolate, as much as Uo needed Kyoko, as much as Rin needs Tohru, as much as Mi needed those drafts, as much as Akito needed her little puppets to dance and cry for her, as much as he himself needed the poems.

Maybe whoever was listening to the music - most likely Shigure, as it was his office - would be able to tell him. Kyo cracked open the door cautiously, breath coming faster now, although he had no reason - Kyo was perfectly within his rights to open doors in the house he was living in...right? The glowing computer screen lit up a squared-off section of dark, a silhouette blcoking off the right half of the slightly blue, radiant screen. Kyo sucked in a breath. He couldn't tell who it was, sitting at the computer at five A.M., before even Tohru was up.

The person's head lolled back, and Kyo could see now - butterfly eyebrows, long, thick eyelashes, porcelain skin, a delicate chin, a full, pouty mouth, and a small train of drool visible in the corner of the open mouth. For a moment, Kyo thought it _was _Tohru, for who else was this beautiful? but, no, since when had Tohru had thick, storm-colored hair? _How is it possible for someone who is so damn aggravating when he's awake to look so peaceful - um, yes, something else, too - when he's completely zonked out?!_

Kyo let the door drift shut, and with relief, noted that the slight click it had made had not alerted anyone to the fact that he was there and spying. His sock-clad feet made almost no noise on the polished stairs, just soft, calming, rhythmic padding. He downed his glass of milk in one go - it was silky, cool, and sweet, like the feel of a chinchilla's coat underneath fingerips.

He had two years to enjoy this. Life was good. He had two whole years to conquer Akito. Two whole years to break the Curse. Two whole years to tell Tohru...two whole years to defeat Yuki, before then defeating himself - that was what he'd sworn to do, on his mother's grave, he'd sworn to kill Yuki, and then himself. He had two whole years. Two whole years to make Tohru his. Two whole years to finally give his rival what was coming to him - it'd been building up for a whole lot longer than two years. He had two years...

Suddenly, what had seemed like an eternity seemed like the blink of a cat-slitted eye.

* * *

**Mou...whadda ya think?**

**Kyo really is an idiot, neh? The first paragraph was kind of about how I felt after I pulled an all-nighter at a sleepover...more like wakeover. 'Cause we were idiots and didn't get one wink, much less forty. The next day I was dizzy, had fainting spells, and was running a huge fever. It was like I was hungover.**

**I give Maggie-chan a lot of thanksies for introducing me to the song 100 Years!**

**I can do anything better than Yu...I have a friend who's last name is Yu, so we make a lot of jokes like "Yu and me". Teh. I'm evil. I'm going to hell. And I'm bringing my computer. See, that's why I'm eternally damned - because I will bring my laptop with me. So you guys can here about what a scorcher of a day we just had down here.**

**Give me some reviews, or I'll set the guy with horns and pitchfork, here, on you! And a chimera!**


	5. Ch 4: Danger Zone

**OMG! I got home from art class today and I was like swamped in emails telling me you awesome peoples reviewed and alerted and favorited this story. Me being swamped by reviews is a good thing -swimming through sea of reviews a.k.a. ocean of happiness-. Thank you guys so much. You rule! A lot of people said they were addicted to the story...haha, look at me, I'm like crack.**

**By the way, about the cover switch, I just couldn't resist...oh, and by way of warning, I made Yuki very emo. So, be afraid, be very afraid. Ooooh, scary ghost noises!**

**And I also thank Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire. **

**_Hampster dance, everybody now!_**

* * *

_To leave or not to leave..._Kyo thought, glaring at the book as though it had personally offended him. He really wanted to keep reading it, but he was leaving for school in about five minutes and he didn't want to risk it getting lost, or stolen...or worse, for someone to see him reading it, and ask him what it was about. What would he say? 

"Kyo-kun, are you ready?" Make that half a minute to make up his mind.

"Coming!" Kyo shouted, stressed. He glanced from the poem book to the novel on his bedstead, and back to poem book. Struck by sudden inspiration, he dove for both of them, and in a sudden flurry of activity, managed to pull on his socks at the same time. Aaah. Kyo sat back for a second, admiring his own work - two neatly Nike sock-clad feet, a 652 page book looking like a diary, and his own dear poem book looking magically different - the cover read _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince._

"Stupid cat probably forgot how to breathe again," Yuki's taunting voice was obviously meant for Kyo to hear, despite the fact that he and Tohru were downstairs, while Kyo was quickly grabbing all his stuff in his room. He felt the anger rising, tight in his throat. The cat bounded downstairs, book clutched in one hand, knapsack in the other, teeth bared in a feral grimace.

"You're the idiot!" Contrary to his words, Kyo's witty remark put the phrase "witty remark" to shame.

"I'm not the one who couldn't tell the teacher when the war of 1822 was fought!"

"Yeah?! Well-"

"Yuki-kun...Kyo-kun..." Kyo was ashamed to see that Tohru that sparkling tears were pooling in the corners of Tohru's wide, expressive eyes, and instantly stopped his rant. Tohru's pleading was almost heart-breaking. "Could we...could we please get along, just for a little? I don't...I don't want to...just, I hate all this trouble."

At Tohru's words, Yuki turned quickly, on the spot, and strode to her side. He reached up one long-fingered hand to gently wipe away the glistening tears from her cheeks, leaving Kyo out in the cold. He glowered, as Yuki murmured something calming, making Tohru smile a little and blush sweetly. _How dare he touch her?!_

"Let's just go," Kyo spat, turning disgustedly and storming off in the general direction of school. Tohru tried to exchange a worried glance with Yuki, but it was obvious enough he didn't care about the cat, so she just let her worried glance bounce off him, and ran after Kyo, telling him to wait up. Uncharacteristically, Kyo didn't think it was cute, sweet, or anything - he was just pissed off. She was always_ fussing_, always worrying about the silliest things.

* * *

"It is common knowledge that when observing a person of great skill doing their work for a long period of time, some of the knowledge is sub-conciously passed to the observee. This is why it's important..." The teacher trailed off. Actually, she was still speaking about something so very important that it would be on their psychology term test that would account for a great part of their grade. Kyo was not listening, and so it seemed that she had stopped speaking, for the words trailed off in his head, leaving him in peace and quiet to scratch out something random on a scrap of paper. 

_I should tell you, I'm disaster_

_I want to stop, but I wanna go faster_

_I want more, but I want less_

_I wanna do pretty-boy in a dr_

Kyo stopped writing. Abruptly. Very, very, deliberately, he began methodically scratching out the last line, until there was a huge smear of ink across his paper. Yes, that was good. No one would be able to read through it. Just to be safe, Kyo crumpled the paper and was _about _to throw it at the trash can, but he remembered something. He was _supposed _to be listening to sensei, not scribbling. Crimson eyes glanced around furtively, and when no one was looking, Kyo crammed the paper in his mouth - it wasn't that big a piece, and while paper wasn't good for you, it wasn't that bad for you either.

_I'm eating my words,_ Kyo chortled to himself. The slip-up wasn't written in stone, in fact, Kyo's stomach acids were already devouring the last, mistaken line. Kyo had already forgotten about that, and had started a little doodle of a snowflake in the corner of his notebook, mind skipping over unpleasant ideas like his poem. Damn rhymes.

* * *

Aaah. A quiet corner of the library, one he'd just discovered, considering the fact that previous to the Great Book-Finding he'd never have been caught dead amidst the forest of shelves. Lunchtime found Kyo, illuminated by sunlight, curled up in an armchair with his love. 

_Excalibur slips_

_A moment of silence_

_I wait, dreading_

_The red dragon arcs up_

_Pauses_

_Before sliding across the ground_

_It collides with the white dragon_

_They both crash to the floor_

_Red on white, fire to snow_

_I don't cry_

_I never cry_

_I don't think I can_

_I just stare_

_I don't feel pain_

_I don't think I can_

_Cold as ice_

_Red on white_

_Blood on skin_

Below was an illustration of a person's (a woman's?) arm, amazingly detailed, lying, palm-up, against an illuminated book of myths. The arm had several scratches on the inside of the rounded curve, an interesting pattern - a pinwheel, or, Kyo realized, looking closer at the little nicks, a snowflake. Razor cuts, on a woman's wrist, in the shape of a snowflake. Suddenly the meaning of the poem, which had been fuzzy, as though looking through heated glass, had become crystal clear. It was a metaphor.

_How did I figure that out in about a minute, considering my literature grade?_

Perhaps it was just one of the those things - it's impossible to understand the words until you see the full picture.

* * *

"Sohma!" The rolled-up magazine collided with the back of Kyo's thick-skulled head, sending him crashing foward onto the desk. Mayuko-sensei stood above him, eyes ablaze. "And when I tell you to do the reading, it means you do the reading, not moon over some sappy love poem!"

Kyo glanced at the page he'd been on. She couldn't mean the poem he'd been reading, when she said "sappy love poem", could she? The poem he'd been "mooning over" was a truely sad one about a cloudy night sky.

_The clouds waft over the clear midnight moon_

_I can cover up just as easily_

_Artemis, goddess of the moon and the hunt..._

_She swore off men_

_I can do the same_

_A storm brews angrily_

_I can put up as good a front_

_Rain pours down, shielding things from clear view_

_Just as well as I hide myself from you_

His lovely teacher smacked him again.

"This is what I mean! Pay attention, or detention!" Mayu shouted. Kyo sighed, resigned. He might as well do the reading...wait a minute. The textbook was rather large, in fact, large enough to hide a small book of poems in, if, say, a small, helpless boy was being forced to read boring text instead of indulging in soul-scouring goodness. Kyo settled back into his chair, giving the "textbook" a rare, heartwarming smile. Mayu, of course, was suspicious.

"I'm serious! I mean, I'm glad you're finally actually reading _something _for a change, in fact, I didn't think you _could _read, but DO THE ASSIGNMENT!" Mayu screamed, making the small, helpless children all around her flinch. "I'm gonna have to confiscate that book if you don't sharpen up!"

_My lovely book of poems being held hostage by Mayuko-sensei?! _Kyo thought, distraught. _I don't know _what _Shigure sees in that woman._

Needless to say, he did the assignment.

* * *

"Hey! Guys - wait up!" Kyo yelled at Tohru and Yuki, who were a bit ahead of him on the way home - probably the ever-inconsiderate Yuki had convinced Tohru to go ahead with out him, leaving kitty in the dust. Kyo sped up, hoping to catch up to them and not let the damn rat hog all the attention, but his foot slipped, catching on a rock, throwing the redhead sliding across the thankfully soft grass. He hadn't properly closed his bookbag, and all his textbooks and things tumbled haphazardly across the field. 

Kyo's nose was buried in the mud, but he quickly jerked it upward. Where was his book?! The poem book?! It had, ironically enough, landed right at Yuki's feet, like a loyal dog returning to it's master. The _Half-Blood Prince _cover slipped a little, revealing one brown corner. Yuki bent down, an oddly intense expression furrowing his brow, but Kyo darted foward, splattered in mud, and snatched the book back before Yuki could pick it up, tossing it back in his bag. Tohru was already helping to retrieve the rest of his things.

Yuki gave him a weird look.

Kyo shuddered.

_Must be imagining it, _Kyo convinced himself. _He couldn't have recognized a book by one freakin' corner. No way in hell._

* * *

**Sorry...these are getting progressively shorter. But I just wanted to stick all the school stuff in one chapter. I'm sorry, but I put it up and then took it down again 'cause I wanted to edit it more...for those of you who couldn't get it...I'm not gonna explain it. I'm gonna sit here, point at you, laugh, and call you a dumbass. Soo...-sits, points, laughs - "Dumbass."**

**Just kidding.**

**Or am I?**

**-air guitair- You're it...you're the ultimate, it's automatic, I'm sure of it, no lie, so don't even try, to tell me that you're not the guy...**


	6. Ch 5: Freak Out

**Wow. I was swamped in reviews again. I'm happy as happy can be, so I'll give you some advice...neck tattoos are as good as birthmarks when it comes to police identification.**

**I'm very sorry about making Yuki all emo, but I felt it was needed...you'll see ;). Is this how J.K. Rowling feels? Planning out her story and having waaaay too much fun with it? Speaking of...OMG I've read HP7 and it's freakin' awesome...I'm gonna get a T-shirt printed that says "Constant Vigilence".**

**-cough- Sorry about that. About Kyo's ramblings, I think while Yuki believes Akkii when she tells him he sucks, Kyo's more of the "it's the Cat's fault, not mine" kinda guy.**

**And, no, you guys can't read all the poems Kyo does, because I don't feel like writing an entire book's worth of poems in a week. So tough luck. But there _were_ a lot more bittersweet poems in there. And anvil-sized hints about the author that Kyo didn't get. Because that's just how he is. WARNING! KYO GOES ALL OBSESSIVE IN THIS ONE!**

**To Kasaki-Chan: Have fun reading this one...muahahaha...sorry 'bout that...but it's funny, no? I was just guessing when I wrote your part...but...yeah...**

**

* * *

**

_Roses are red_

_Blood is too_

_You hate me so much_

_But not as much as I do_

Kyo sighed with appreciation. He really wasn't the type to be into self-hate, but ever since he'd been but a child, all everyone ever told him was how much they hated the cat. "That boy's useless - compare him to the Rat child! - Oh, for you to have the Cat boy...I'm so sorry for you - the Cat's an idiot - get away from me, boy!"...it was all drilled into his skull, and after a while, he had started to believe it. But then Kyo realized - he didn't hate himself, he hated the Cat. He hated the spirit inside of him, and so, in a way, he did hate himself. But more than that...

He hated being the Cat. And it was this that made the poem seem even more real to him, if not completely the way he felt.

Kyo's hand brushed the page, fingers finding the ridged edge, and turning to the next pageful of bliss - except there was none. The inside cover stared Kyo straight in the crimson eyes, burning it's way into his retinas. Kyo blinked, his fingernails scrabbling the back as though searching for a secret compartment. There was none. The book was over. Kyo couldn't believe it. He'd known this day was nearing, and he'd been dreading it - he'd watched the number of pages after his bookmark slowly dwindle down into this horror that was the end.

On the very last page, there was another illustration - a shard of crystal with the words "Nobylls and Barrne Printing Company" written in calligraphic kanji embellished on it's side. It seemed to be some sort of logo - below it were the words "_This book was a courtesy of Nobylls and Barrne Printing Company Book-Binding Spree_" , and below that, the email address and URL.

Kyo padded softly down the hall, stopping and peeking into Tohru's room, where she was sitting, peacefully doing her sewing. Normally, Kyo would have blushed - he _was _in Tohru's room! - but this time, he was just impatient to get information. He _had _to know. "Tohru-kun - where's that damn dog?"

"Ah, uh - Shigure-san? I believe he went out with Ayame-san..." Tohru looked up briefly from her work, eyes wide. She seemed afraid of being wrong, as though it was her fault if Kyo's day got messed up because Shigure went out for a couple beers with his friend - she was like a mouse, a little timid mouse, a mouse afraid of being hit, scurrying away and cowering in the corner. It did get rather tiring.

"Thanks." Kyo turned, rubbing his already-sweaty palms against the side of his pants - he almost never used Shigure's computer, and when he did, it was only if his teachers insisted that he would fail the class if his handwriting didn't pick up, or if he didn't start typing his work. If it could be said that he almost never used Shigure's computer, it could also be said that he used the Internet even less.

"Oh gawd..." Kyo stared at the flickering screen. He had absolutely no idea how to work this contraption - the so-called marvel of modern technology just looked impossible. He clicked something, holding his breath and pleading to the spirits of luck. He didn't want to bother Tohru, and he got the feeling she didn't have much more computer experience than he - no way in the seven hells was he asking _Yuki _for advice. "Didn't they teach us this in school...? Ah, man...is it..."

Somehow, the cat managed to fumble his way to the Nobylls and Barrne homepage - it seemed Nobylls and Barrne was a printing company that published small projects for personal purposes, instead of mass publishing. You would have to format your manuscript, and then they would print it and bind it for you, and ship it to your house. Hmm...He clicked around for a bit, searching for information on the authors - if the author had printed a sequel or a prequel, he absolutely _had _to read it. This poet was drawing him in, taking control of his brain, but somehow not giving him any artistic talent whatsoever. Kyo had been filling out a little image in the back of his mind, almost subconciously, of what this author would be like - _she _was a bit older than him, maybe a college student, because mostly older people were better adjusted, although some kimono-wearing acceptions existed.

She was beautiful, oh, yes, she was beautiful beyond imagining. But she was shadowed. Leaving that aside, it did not matter so much what she looked like - it was her mind and her heart that mattered here. And if she had printed novels, or better yet, more poetry...! It was an addiction, an obsession, if you will. Kyo did not so much need to read more of her work, he just needed some closure here. To find out if there was more, to put a seal on the first person who had understood him completely - Shishou did understand him, but not to this extent.

The time when he had looked foward to the next poem was slipping away...it felt like a daydream, although he had read the last poem only a half hour ago. It had felt like an illuminating break from the constant nightmare that was his life, a moment of bliss, a moment that was gone. He was chasing it, though. He was chasing the words. He was chasing a Chesterfield through a meadow.

Kyo, despite desperate link-clicking, typing - slow typing -, and swearing, could not find anything more than a disclaimer on the page about submitting your work - one would have to drive down to the headquarters in the nearest town and give it to them in person - talking about privacy. The people at Nobylls and Barrne wouldn't reveal your name if you wished to be anonymous, they wouldn't give out a physical description, or tell you about sequels.

_Damn morals_, Kyo thought, clenching his fist resolutely. He would have to rely on what he knew best - brute force and threats.

* * *

_"This _is it?!_" _

"Yes...this is it...I would appreciate it if you would give me my money and let me go now..." The tired-looking man whom Kyo had practically strangled guestured to the taxi waiting, driverless, for him to re-take the steering wheel and get away from this obviously-derranged adolescent.

"B-b-bu..." Kyo could only stutter, staring at the monstrosity that was the Nobylls and Barrne building, as identified by the neon pink-and-green plasticized words on the electric blue roof. He would have to enter, whether or not this color scheme gave him a migrane. The shape of the building itself was roughly resemblent to a Taj Mahal on crack. Damn artistic types.

The redhead took a deep breath, wiped a layer of sweat from his forehead, scrunched his eyes closed before opening them and blinking several times, and strode foward until he came to a halt in front of the multicolored double doors. He took another breath, shoved open the door, and dashed inside before he lost his nerve. A passing woman stared at him, before turning back to her friend and shrugging. Her friend nodded sympathetically. "They all do that...but you know, you really do need guts to enter a place with a colour scheme like _that._"

"Ah...but you spell colour like a Brit," The woman replied.

* * *

The inside was as outrageous as the outside - the uneven walls and ceiling featured a humongous mural depicting a scene underneath the ocean, a huge sinking ship painted in striking detail behind the long, curvaceous counter that served as a desk to about fifteen interns. The floor was painted sky blue, with a smatttering of white, fluffy clouds scattered across it. Even Kyo's rubber-soled tennis shoes made a noise on the polished tiles as he walked nervously up to the desk. 

"Uh..." He muttered, unsure how to begin.

"Yes," The lady at the desk looked up from her sudoku, her egg-yellow Dolce & Gabbana glasses glinting smartly in the light filtering in through the stained glass windows. She looked around twenty or so, with light brown hair tumbling to her shoulders, sparkling gray-green eyes, and soft, kind features. She snapped her gum, eyebrows raised expectantly, waiting for Kyo to say something.

"Uh..." Was all Kyo managed. He glanced down at the book clutched in his hand, and remembered why he was here and suffering the lack of air conditioning and visage of the building. "I-I'm here to find an author...I know it's against your motto...but this really is very important to me." The lady looked unimpressed.

"Kaysies, we gets a whole effin' lot of books submitted every day, so the likelyhood of me knowing who the author is is 'bout nill." She said, very fast. Kyo blinked, deciphering her words. _And I thought Momiji was bad..._

"Please, would you just _see_ if you can help me - uh - Kasaki-san," Kyo pleaded, glancing at her nametag. Kasaki seemed to chuckle a little. Kyo hoped that was a good sign.

"Wellllll...yah, sure, I been working here for years, maybe I would know_ something_." She grinned, reaching out a hand for the book. "Lesse, 'ere." Kyo gave it to her, albeit a little reluctantly, and she opened it to the middle, randomly skimming.

"Hmm..." Kasaki's laughing expression calmed to serious as she took in the words. Kyo crossed his fingers. "Well, no, I don't know who submitted this work -"

Kyo slammed his fist into the counter, jaw clenched.

"-but I do know who knows. She was talkin' 'bout this one fer...weeks, I think."

Kyo's eyes widened.

"You'll want to talk to_...her."_

Kyo's head turned, following her pointing, manicured finger. His spirits sank when he saw the woman Kasaki had indicated. She was an intimidating sort, with sharp, if pretty, features, short, matted dark hair, and gave off an aura of complete indifference. Kyo winced as Kasaki waved her over, apparently oblivious to Kyo's discomfort, although it was obvious to the intimidating woman.

"Yus?" She said, raising one richly curved eyebrow.

"This young man would like to hear about the person who submitted this book," Kasaki bubbled, casually tossing the woman Kyo's precious book. Kyo flinched, half wanting to step foward and snatch it from the air, but the woman had already caught it. She merely glanced at the first page before turning Kyo. Kyo shrank away for the first time in his life. "Whadda ya want t'know?"

"Uh, erm, did the author ever publish a, another book?" Kyo stumbled, catching himself on Kasaki's desk. She smiled encouragingly at him.

"Nope. And I knows, a'cause I checked them damned records," The woman said, holding out a hand to Kasaki. Kasaki seemed to know what she meant, because she handed the woman a stick of gum, which she unwrapped, tossing the wrapper carelessly on the ground. although Kasaki darted foward to pick it up and toss it in a nearby garbage can. "Buts, I can tell ya one thing. Them who wrotes this book, yeh, wus beautiful. Walked in 'ere, and we was all wow, thats how pretty. Gave off a light, see? Kina aura, 'pose. Y'd never guess, by how 'e looked, that 'e woulda writ shit this deep, 'n' sad, 'n' shit. Never 'eard teh name, though."

Kyo hadn't been paying attention after "nope". He'd found out all he needed to know, and it saddened him, but he would accept it. After all, what could he do? He didn't even know who'd written it. Kyo grabbed the book unceremoniously from the woman's hands, trudging back to the door, remembering to throw a "thanks" over his shoulder on his way out. The sunlight shocked him after the dim light inside Nobylls and Barrne, making him squint around for the cab. It'd left. Damn. He'd just wait for another.

* * *

_I want to keep this book, _Kyo thought seriously, staring down at the open book in his hands. _But...it's not mine._

Kyo had nearly forgotten how he'd come across this wonder - but it had hit him, suddenly. It was Yuki's. Although the cat was certain Yuki didn't miss it, maybe he hadn't even noticed it was gone, it wasn't _right _keeping something that wasn't his, even if the rightful owner _was _his all-time damned-rat archenemy. Even if the rightful owner _was _the reason most of Kyo's life had been, and would be, spent in a living hell.

_It'll get on my conscience if I don't give it back, although no way in the seven hells am I giving it to him face-to-face, _Kyo realized. He got up from where he'd been sitting on his bed, sheets in turmoil around him, and walked the extremely long distance allll the way down the hall to Yuki's room. This was a strange feeling, this was, when his destination was that damn rat's room.

It was a small comort that Yuki's room was even messier than his. Kyo picked his way through the piles of crap, aiming to drop the book on Yuki's bed, where surely even he would find it. Kyo's hand, the one gripping the book, trembled above the bed, unwilling to give up this last bit of peace that had come to him during the past month. He opened the book, flipping to a page he loved. This would be the way he would say goodbye. Kyo whispered the words to himself.

_"I love quiet_

_Because you thrive in noise_

_I love leeks_

_Because you despise them_

_I love rain_

_Because you can't stand it_

_We've got one thing in common_

_We both hate our Emperor_

_We've got another thing in common_

_We both hate me_

_We've got a last difference_

_I love you_

_But you think you're worthless."_

"Wh-what the b-bloody _hell _are you d-doing with my book?!"

Kyo was like a deer in the headlights. He froze, only moving to turn to face the doorway, to face his fears. There stood Yuki, all the mist gone from his usually-clouded amethyst eyes, leaving only shock, devastating fear, and suprisingly-painful anger. A pair of garden shears was gripped, forgotten, in one of his hands, unconciously threatening, while the other hand was occupied in steadying the boy against the doorframe, reminding Kyo searingly of that fateful day when he'd found the book that had taken up a month of his life, and considerably more of his heart. Kyo's heart was beating so hard it felt as though it could bruise his ribs.

And when Yuki said "my book", Kyo got the feeling Yuki didn't just mean he'd paid a couple thousand yen for it at Border's.

* * *

**Oooo, hooker! I mean...cliffhanger. That reminds me of one of my friends who once thought "prostitution" had something to do with lawyers...she got it mixed up with "prosicution."**

**And I wrap up the story...with ribbons. Let's make a deal. You read the story, I read your reviews! That would make me a very happy little boar. Just like it would make Kagura-chan a very happy little boar if Kyo decided to screw her...but he'll never do that. 'Cause he's got Yuki! But I'm sorry, this chapter got a little out of hand. Oh well.**

**Kyoru fans: What about Tohru?!**

**Me: Feh.**

**Kagura/Kyo fans: Whyyyy, oh, whyyy?!**

**Me: Hey, I'm on your side...sometimes.**

**Yuki/Kyo fans: What about us?!**

**Me: Hey, I'm writing this story, aren't I?**

**Well, I'm off to go check out them sexy-ass lawyers! Next chappie is on it's way...**


	7. Ch 6: Because of You

**Haha! I got up this morning and turned on my computer, and got all the reviews (okay, okay, three reviews, but they were interesting reviews!) and I went all sky-high. By the way, I had a dream that kyoshigurelover asked me in a review to make it KyoxShigure...sorry, it was just your username...but I do like your poetry ...better than mine. So I had to go and check my reviews this morning to see if anyone actually said that.**

**Weird, neh? I was writing this out, and I just realized that at one point it seems like Yuki says "You have no capacity for young love" because Shigure cuts him off...XD. Nice.**

**ON WITH THE FIC!!!! I thought there were a couple (-coughAMILLIONcough-) ways I could go with this...but I decided on this one. Yesterday, I had 666 hits...and I partly didn't want anyone else to read it...but they did...and that's probably better. Meep, I made a new iTunes playlist full of the most angsty songs I could find to help me with this fic. And they were all by Avril Lavigne: Losing Grip, I'm With You (just cause that one's sad), Unwanted, Nobody's Fool, Too Much To Ask, Take Me Away, Together, My Happy Ending, Nobody's Home (I love that one - it makes me cry), Forgotten, Freak Out.**

**Hey, look, a chipmunk! Outside the window...the window in my dad's office, where the computer is, is at ground level...HI, MISTER CHIPMUNK! ARE YOU ANGSTY? WHOSA ANGSTY CHIPMUNK? WHOSA ANGSTY CHIPMUNK! YOU DA ANGSTY CHIPMUNK!**

**Tigerstar: -singing- Sasha doesn't know...what my GF and me...do in my van every Sunday...she tells 'er she's on patrol...but she doesn't go...still she's off her paws and Sasha doesn't know!**

**Get it? GF girlfriend, GF Goldenflower.**

* * *

"I-I uh, er..." The excuses died on Kyo's lips. It wasn't that he had decided that truthfulness was the most honorable path, it was more that his stumbling brain couldn't keep up with his mouth enough to produce a believable tale. His heart was pounding, the only moving thing in the room now that Kyo's mouth had finally stopped babbling. Then, Yuki spoke, his tone as of ice. 

"I-it was y-you...you t-took my book..." Words of a poet. "I h-have been s-searching t-the entire main h-house, ev-everywhere it might h-have been left, I have been practically pulling out my hair over that stupid missing book, I haven't slept in...God know how long, I haven't been able to eat, I've had about a million asthma attacks from the stress, and it's all _your _fault!" Yuki had started out frightened, shocked, but by the end of the sentence, he was the most irate Kyo had ever seen him.

"I-" Kyo started, but Yuki cut him off. "I don't want to hear your miserable excuses!" Yuki was advancing on him, garden shears held frighteningly close to Kyo's face - Kyo tried to back away, but there was nowhere to back away to. "You are the _reason_ my life is shit!" The words sent cold shivers down Kyo's spine - the words he had thought so often about Yuki being spoken by him was a strange, horrible concept.

"Oh?! I'm the reason _your _life sucks, now?!" Kyo bit back, resorting to the only mode he knew when confronted with this oddity that was his cousin. He stopped flinching backwards, meeting Yuki eye-to-eye. "You and your damn rat spirit, you're the reason no one on the 'inside' will talk to me, you're the reason all the older Sohmas look at me like I'm dirt, you're the reason my mother commited suicide, you've never understood how I feel, you're the reason-" He'd been about to mention Akito and the cage, and they both knew it - Yuki's expression had regained some of the fear it had previously held, amplified times a million.

"I don't think it's that...I don't think it's that I don't understand how you feel...I think I've understood _too _well, and that's why you're afraid of me," Yuki said softly, lowering the garden shears. It was, however the wrong thing to say, and Kyo flared up again.

"Who says I'm afraid of you?! I'm gonna beat you, I'm gonna rub that pretty little smile of yours off on the floor, you worthless scum, I'm gonna - "

"Don't you ever think of anything new, you mindless cat?! You're so repetetive it's almost enough to make me suicidal, you never consider that I might - you're always making Honda-san worry, you -"

"Oh, yeah, It's all about Tohru, isn't it?! That's your tiny little world, spotlight on Tohru-kun, you never think about me, kitty stuck outside on a rainy day, trying to get Akito to open the door and let him - "

"You have no _idea _what it's like, being the one stuck inside, wanting to get out, you just want in, mindlessly assuming no one will hate you if...if _he _lets you into the zodiac, you have no logic, no brains, no capacity for -"

"Aah, young love," Shigure, passing the room, glanced in at Yuki and Kyo, who were nose-to-nose and shouting at the top of their lungs.

Yuki glanced over at Shigure, then looked back at Kyo, glared at Shigure, and then Kyo's face was mashed against the wall out in the hallway, hearing the door slam behind him. Kyo slid to the floor, cursing Yuki with every word in the dictionary and several that weren't. "I HATE YOU!" He screamed at the closed door, like a small child throwing a tantrum. "JUST DIE!" Kyo slammed his fist into the floor, before getting up, using the wall as a railing, and walking downstairs, still silently fuming. He had to get out, nevermind the rain.

"Tohru...I'm gonna...I left something at school the other day, I'm gonna get it," Kyo told her, in passing. She was preparing lunch, a happy little oblivious smile on her pretty face. Kyo bit his tounge to keep from swearing - he totally didn't feel up to dealing with people right now. But, still, he didn't want her to worry. She might break a brain cell. "I'm not gonna be home for lunch."

"Kyo-kun, take an umbr-" Tohru started, but Kyo had already walked out on her, slamming the door. As soon as he was out of sight of the house, which was fairly soon, considering the pouring rain, he broke into a run, needing to feel the thrill of wind rushing past his face, the rain feeling like pins thrust into his face with the force of speed. The feeling of his bare feet squishing into the mud before squelching free, free to move onward for the next step. The occasional rocks that bit into his feet like little sharp-toothed rodents, causing red to streak his feet, floating on top of the mud in bloody footprints behind him.

Yes, it was raining, and yes, he should have been tired, but Kyo had a fuel that kept him going, and on he went, powered by anger. With every breath he took, he cursed Yuki. He cursed that damn girly-boy, he cursed him with all his might. That damned rat had no idea how it felt to long to be accepted, to long for the other zodiac member and the "inside" Sohmas to look at you with pride and say in a kind tone "That boy, that Kyo, he's done good, huh? He's made it through. He's a good kid, that Kyo."

But that would never happen, not so long as the Cat was estranged from the zodiac. Somewhere, deep inside, Kyo knew that even if the cat was inducted, nothing would change. Human beings, with their human nature, would constantly criticize and find faults..."He cheated the Rat boy, you know? There's no way he could have beaten the Rat in a fair fight...trickery...evil...monster..." That was, of course, human nature, and even those who were not human all the time would succumb to this distrust.

_No, _Kyo thought bitterly, _if I beat that damn...if I beat him, they'll have to accept me! I'll make them!_

His right fist swung in an arch, colliding with the hard, rough bark of a tree. It seemed to his tear-blurred eyes as though the tree creaked backwards a little, but that could have been wistful thinking. Kyo kept running, running away from his problems, running away from the monster contained by the beads around his wrist, running away from Yuki. He would slow down every so often, to punch a tree, to feel the pain in his wrist and knuckles - he welcomed the pain. He embraced it. He pretended each tree he hit was his archenemy, his Yuki. Yuki might as well have been a tree, for all the thought he gave, for all the warmth he was capable of, for all the compassion he would ever lower himself to show, for all the understanding he could ever give Kyo, even after all those poems -

Wait.

The. Poems. Were. Yuki's.

This fact hit Kyo square between the eyes, making him halt his endless flight, and lift up his left hand. He'd been punching the trees with his right hand, and so his right fist was covered in blood, but in his left hand was clutched a book. A rain-soaked, humble, understanding, emo book. Kyo raised it to his face, peering at the cover through the rain, before opening it randomly. This page had been one of his favorites, and he watched as rain desperately splattered the page, seeming to need something to sink into, rather than the already-overflowing muddy ground.

_If you are fire, then I'm ice_

_If you are mean, then I'm nice_

_If you are angry, then I'm cold_

_If you are rusty, then I'm gold_

_If you are stupid, I'm a hero_

_If I'm a hundred, you're a zero_

_If you're a dragon, I'm a slayer_

_If you're a peasant, I'm the mayor_

_That's not what I want_

_You're not the one I wanna taunt_

_If it was just you and me,_

_This is how I'd want it to be:_

_You'd be a king, I'd be your queen_

_You'd still be free when you're eighteen_

_We'd be together_

_For ever and ever..._

_I know it sounds cheesy_

_But it's not that easy_

_I know it'll never be_

_I know you'll never want me_

_So why don't I just end it?_

_You'd never defend it_

_You want me dead_

_Not in your bed_

Kyo glared at the words, and they glared back. His mind was reeling, starting to connect the dots. If this book was Yuki's, if these poems were Yuki's, and if it could be taken into account that they were nonfiction, if one galleon equals seventeen knuts...then...

_"You'd still be free when you're eighteen..." _Akito was going to lock him up...

_"Eighteen years..." _The cage...

_"You want me dead..." _Kyo had said he would kill Yuki...

_"Hair so warm..." _Kyo's hand drifted up to brush against his orange locks...

_"She's your Lady So Devine..." _Was Yuki talking about him and Tohru?!

_"Blood on skin..." _!

_"So why don't I just end it?" _Double !

"Yuki!" Kyo gasped, spinning on the spot to face the direction he thought was the house, eyes wildly searching the sheets of rain for the unstable adolescent he knew would not be there. Just that morning, Kyo had insulted him, told him he hated him, told him to die...of all the times for Yuki to actually take his advice...and just now Kyo was realizing that all the sad poetry had been Yuki's innermost secret thoughts.

_"And you're just realizing that now, stupid cat?" _This time, the ghost of Yuki's insult didn't fuel his anger towards him, it only helped him berate himself. He'd had the poems, he'd had the information, he'd had the clues, the only thing he hadn't had was Yuki. Yet now, the years of feuding seemed to melt away, leaving only a scared teenager and his fears for his severely depressed, scarred, and quite self-destructive cousin.

_Why didn't I realize?! Oh God, oh God, oh God, NO! Yuki, hold on! I'm coming! _

* * *

**Sorry...another cliffiehooker. I didn't really plan it to work out like this, but it just kind of happened, you see? I really am sorry, especially if Yuki seems a bit OOC...XD, if you've read my homepage you'll notice the OTHER meaning for OOC - Out Of the Closet. XD**

**But it's not actually that bad...Kyo's just being a fussy mother hen (sorry, Kureno). I really am quite sorry, because even to _me _the end of the chapter seems a bit odd. Anyway...review anyway and yell at me all you like. I'm glad to be yelled at...but if more people don't review, I'll have to take drastic measures...no, not really, I just want to break the thirty mark, because I've never done that, lame as it sounds. It's because I have no standards and just post as soon as I get it done. I don't draw it out. I don't do dramatic pauses. I don't do lemons. **

**I love ya guys! **

**Or maybe I'm just high.**


	8. Ch 7: I Should Tell You

**One fic glory...**

**-sniff- Well, the fic finally draws to a close. It was like my child...and now my child is growing up and moving out after only...what? Eight chapters? Well, this is my first fic that was done write-as-post, and I'm glad I started doing it this way. It gives me more of a connection to you, my loyal readers, reviews, flamers, and French people. Well, I will be writing one more, follow-up chapter as a bit of an epilouge, but this IS basically the end...the epilouge will mostly be comic relief.**

**Did you know that you can't say "I'm full" literaly in Italian by translating from English or French because if you do you'll wind up saying "I'm fed up with you" or "I'm pregnant"? I heard about this girl in a Spanish class who wasn't talking, so her teacher asked her why and she tried to say "I'm embarassed" in Spanish but what she said was "Embarazado" which means "I'm pregnant"...in short, don't talk in other languages or people will be asking you who the father is. **

**Bailey...it was the tiger cub, wasn't it? Buffalo-koi will be very disappointed in you.**

**By the way, if you're reading this and you haven't even submitted one review, I would like you to, because I just only broke the thirty-five mark for the first time and that is pretty damn sad, I think you'll agree. I'm very sorry, because Kyo goes kind of crazy in this chapter, and it seems very Deathly Hallows, and I also realize that it's a very bad time to put up new chapters on the day after HP7 came out, but I finished it by the midnight after it came out (11:33, actually) so I had time to.**

**I swear, Gwen Stafani is gay. Ever heard her song _Harajuku Girls? _And ever notice the alliteration between 'neko' and 'nezumi'? And in English, 'cat' and 'rat' rhyme...so...SUBTLE CLUES!**

* * *

Kyo darted wildly through the trees, his movements devoid of a point - he was searching, searching in vain. He knew Yuki was somewhere out here - martial artist that he was, he could feel the presence. Aside from being a fighting fool, it was as though Kyo's...waves...were tuned in to Yuki's, alerting him of Yuki's presence while maddeningly refusing to help find him in any other way. 

"I DON'T HATE YOU!" The words came out, strangled, through his choked up throat, as though they would bring Yuki to him.

"_Oh, really_?" The _whisper_ came whistling through the trees in the form of a wind, playing with Kyo's hair, teasing him. He swatted away the playful breeze, ignoring the way the taunting whisper sent chills down his spine, helplessly reminding him of Akito. Kyo's vision blurred for a moment, before focusing desperately on the space between the two trees in front of him, as though Yuki would materialize there and come to Kyo, crying, but happy to be found. Nothing happened.

"Really...I don't hate him...I..." Kyo was having a conversation with a breeze. _So this is what it feels like to be crazy..._

_"You wished he was dead, didn't you?" _Akito. Akito was here. The breeze swirled, tossing up leaves, combining with Kyo's tears and the rain to form a vision of the Sohma family head, standing before him, a malicious grin adorning the sharp, cruel features. _"You said you'd be better off without him...you said you'd kill him, I heard you say it...a book does not change fifteen years of anger, Kyo-chan...your mother killed herself, and it's all his fault..."_

"Shut up! No, just shut up!" Kyo swung around, but Akito was there, too. He was everywhere. He was curling around Kyo, curling like a snake, constricting Kyo until he felt as though he would throw up. Akito's smile was twisted, cruel, and almost had a seductive quality about - Yuki's degrading sneer seemed almost sexy by comparison. Kyo swung his fist foward, in what would have been solid contact, but the Akito-mist twisted away from him, hissing in dissapointment.

_"We can't have that, now can we, because, my dear Kyo, you have absolutely no _right _to hurt me, you don't even have the right to speak to me...you're just a filthy monster," _Akito curled back in, drifting ghost-fingers across Kyo's chest, floating upward to caress his collarbone - he could not feel the apparition's touch, but the thought of the real Akito touching him like that chilled him to the bone. _"You have no right, but I shall grant you one privilage." _The Sohma head's cold, non-existent hand turned, softly gripping his chin, and bringing Kyo's head foward to kiss him -

Kyo snarled a wordless exclamation of disgust, hands thrusting straight through the ghostly nightmare, which swirled into the nothingness it had been all along, dissipating what had not existed. Kyo, staring around at the rainy mess that was the woods at that moment, had a sudden sense of déja vú. _When I felt like I had no worth whatsoever, like I might as well die, Tohru came after me, and she braved Akito for me...and now I'm doing the same thing for Yuki...Yuki, of all people!_

"Life's a bitch," Kyo said out loud. "But it's a bitch worth holding on to." He liked that idea, but now was not the time for romantizing, he had to find his lost mouse. His beautiful, scarred, frightened, lost mouse. Kyo's expression was grim as he tried to brush aside curtains of rain, peering around trees, chasing shadows...it was like trying to find a contact in a black hole.

After what might have been hours, or what might have been minutes, Kyo felt as though he has exhausted the woods around him - he had certainly exhausted himself! He could feel Yuki's presence tingling warmly in the back of his mind, but every time he tried to follow it, it eluded his capture, like smoke. Kyo had already checked the "secret base", it was the first place he'd gone, but where else would Yuki be, unless he was wandering around the woods randomly, which seemed quite likely, since Kyo himself had been doing that for a considerable chunk of the afternoon.

In desperation, and, not knowing where he himself was, how to find the main house, Shishou's, or Shigure's, Kyo turned to the sky, and howled, like a possessed man...which, of course, he is. "YYYYUUUUKKKKIIII!"

The hunger/lack of sleep/stress-caused apparitions were back, in the form of a white-blond girl in a blue dress floating behind Kyo's anguish-closed eyelids, who smiled benignly at Kyo, and spoke in a soft, dreamy tone. _"It's not going to snow...it's September..." _Kyo swatted at her, and she obligingly floated away, muttering something about "Stubby Boardman-san".

Kyo could feel Yuki's presence slipping away from his range of sense, staying within the general area, but he could no longer sense Yuki. Kyo began wandering randomly around the woods, straying further and further from the area he knew well, in the hopes that he would cross Yuki's path by chance. He mumbled things under his breath, everything from prayers to curses, hitting on extraterrestrial life and Edgar Allen Poe in-between. He was just talking to himself about The Village Voice, when it hit him with the force of a truck.

Yuki hardly ever went out into the woods, while Kyo spent most of his free time here, and when Yuki did come out here, it was mostly just to that garden of his, but he wasn't there, so where else would he be? What was a place he'd be likely to remember? What was most important to Yuki? It was a long shot, but...Kyo was desperate. Anything, anything that might lead him _that _much closer to finding sad, self-hating Yuki, despite the fact that Kyo was the reason for most of Yuki's depression. Kyo sped up.

At last, the trees ahead of him thinned, leaving only a clearing and what had obviously once been a landslide's after-effects, but what was now just a pile of wet, muddy ground with various sharp-looking objects sticking up from it at random intervals - the remainders of a tent. Kyo took none of this in, just the boy kneeling on top of this once-magnificent pile of crap, his hands imersed in the mixture of dirt and biodegraded objects, sparkling tears spilling from his half-closed eyes, blood trickling down both his arms, mouth half-open in a sob that wracked his frail frame.

Kyo's lost nezumi, lovely through the rain.

Kyo padded foward, footsteps making a slight squelching sound on the rain-soaked ground, quite alerting Yuki to his presence. Yuki raised his head, moving as though the effort of that movement would cost him a great part of his life force, magenta eyes shining with tears and fear. "No," the boy whispered through the stream of tears. "No...you c-can't see m-me l-like this..."

"You mean I can't see you when you're acting human," Kyo replied, no less softly. "When you're not acting like a snot or a perfect little prince...but...I like it when you act human..."

"No...n-no...this _c-can't _be h-happening..." Yuki was scared, Kyo could see. He was scared out of his wits, he was recoiling away from Kyo, who was a mere five feet away and wishing to be closer, but not wanting to drive the boy away. Yuki was huddling, curling in on himself, trying to hide again behind his front, but that front was torn away, leaving him bare and shivering. "Y-you know...you k-know...y-you h-hate me, n-now?"

If you were to study a subject's pattern of behavior for a month, and careful make notes upon this pattern, and graph this pattern, you would most likely find that a subject's given pattern of behavior does not change unless given a very long period of time, or unless drastic lifestyle changes are involved.

"Know what?" asked Kyo, being dense as usual.

Yuki let out an exhasperated part-laugh, part-sob, part-wail. He was practically screaming-sobbing now, hysterically hiccuping, his already mud-incased fingers were tearing viciously at the mud, an outlet for his frustration, anger, and pain. Kyo longed to rush to his side, but he had the feeling that if he tried to physically comfort Yuki right now, Yuki would tear off into the woods, possibly commiting suicide.

"H-how I f-feel...about y-you..." Yuki managed to choke the words out. For a moment, they hung heavily, chock full of meaning, in the air, before crashing down to Kyo's ears as the rest of the world came crashing down around them as well, turning his mind inside out. Kyo was never much of one for inferring, and so he had passed over all the "I love you"s in the poems, while now he was only beginning to realize that they were talking about _him. _From Yuki to him. Oh gawd.

"I think I need to sit down..." Kyo proclaimed, and did just that, the mud splattering to tie-dye his shirt brown. Two teenagers, sitting on a humongous mound of mud, during the middle of a storm, at twillight. Yuki's face had softened from his mask of fear, giving Kyo a sad half-smile that made his heart ache for the rat. Kyo longed for that face to smile a real smile, not his princely cool-dude smile, not his sneer, but a true, genuine smile.

"I'm s-so sorry, K-Kyo...now y-you know, a-and it's got to b-be awkward for you, _th-this, _coming from m-me, your s-sworn archenemy, w-when you don't -" Yuki let out a little, hoarse, humourless half-laugh, but Kyo cut him off. Yuki _had _to stop this, this apologizing, when he didn't know how Kyo had felt when he'd finally realized it was Yuki behind the poems. _Kyo _didn't know how he had felt, but just let the words pour out.

"I was so worried...I was frightened out of my wits...when I finally, really connected the dots...when, this afternoon, I realized it'd been you writing all along...it'd been you, also, I'd shouted at this morning, you I'd told to die...you, who might take me seriously..."

"I wanted to, t-to, uh, e-end it, but I w-wimped out -" Yuki started up again, but Kyo shushed him with a finger against his suprisingly-soft mouth, an Ayame-like guesture he'd never thought he would lower himself to perform. Yuki had been communicating to him, unknowingly, through his art, and Kyo would respond in kind.

_"It's a tough time for you_

_But I never knew_

_I never knew you had it this tough_

_I didn't want to know you had it rough_

_All the time you would suffer_

_And I thought I had it tougher_

_He'd torture you, he was so vicious_

_And all the while, I was oblivious_

_I couldn't - wouldn't - see your pain_

_There was nothing I could gain_

_But not, I can finally see_

_Who I've been, who you'll be_

_I see through the rain_

_I see through your pain_

_I see only your face_

_In all your glory and grace_

_You're beautiful, through the rain_

_You're beautiful through your pain_

_You've got a right to be vain_

_You've got to stop this destruction_

_I admit, you're not only an obstruction_

_You've got to believe in yourself_

_You've got to find help_

_I'll be here if you need me_

_You say you're worthless, I disagree_

_I take it back, what I said_

_Listen to what I'm saying now instead_

_You've been my enemy, you've been his slave_

_All along I've been trying to dig your grave_

_But now I finally realize_

_I know it's you I idealize_

_But beyond that, it's more_

_Beyond that annoying boar_

_It's really, really tough, but you'll make it through_

_You've said it to me, I know you still do_

_These words I'll speak, I swear they're true_

_I've known it all along, I love you..."_

Kyo wasn't reciting his poem, he was singing it, singing it, not as a soft, sweet, it'll-be-all-right lullabye, but as hard, painful, Your-Eyes-type lament. Yuki's tears were salty, filling the air around them with a substantial tang, bringing a stinging feeling to Kyo's cheeks. Kyo reached out a hand, at last, to touch Yuki, to caress that soft, pale cheek, to wipe away the glistening tears that were falling, and for once, Yuki let him, relaxing his tense shoulders at last, and collapsing into Kyo's arms. Kyo lifted Yuki's arm, brushing away the layers and layers of mud to reveal a razor scar, a sort of pinwheel of scars, forming a snowflake, on the wrist.

"You've got to stop," Kyo told Yuki, who's head was buried in his chest.

"I know," He lifted his head, gazing up into Kyo's eyes with such trust that Kyo felt as though his heart was breaking. "I will...I-I'm bad at giving up...you'll help me, won't you?"

"Of course, idiot. I'm glad you didn't kill yourself. So don't."

"I-I was going to, b-but...like I s-said, I'm bad at giving up..."

"Thank God for that."

And with that, Kyo's hands drifted up to the rat's jaw, gently bringing Yuki's head foward, their lips meeting in a gentle, yet passionate, kiss - two boys, surrounded by a humungous mound of mud and tent debris, both drenched and splattered with mud, both hungry, both exhausted, both scarred, locked in a kiss that ended the eternal dance of cat and mouse.

* * *

**YAAAARG! RIN HAS SHORT HAIR! ZOMG! Well, actually, I like the long-haired Rin better, but she looks less like a hooker with short hair...although, she looks more grown-up. I don't like that. I miss the old Rin. I will keep on writing Rin with long hair.**

**Well, anywaysies, just clear things up, this is pretty much the end, although there will be one more chapter...and I'm very sad. I'm sure y'all are too...**

**-coughcough-**

**Ahem.**

**Uh.**

**Er.**

**Macarana everyone!**


	9. Ch 8: Happy Ending

**FF hates me, so I'm sorry if you're having problems with getting to the chapters. I've heard from a couple people that it's spazzing out on them, sooooo...**

**La di da, diiiiffferrrent POVS! 'Tis my new song.**

**Guess what? Falafel!**

**Guess what else? Yakiniku!**

**Guess what else else? FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY!**

**Guess what else else else? IfoundoutthattheJapanesedon'tusespacesintheirwriting...so...yeahatleastIt_hink_theJapanesedon'tusespacesintheirwriting,buticouldbewrongbecausemyfriendwhotol-dmethattheJapanesedon'tusespacesintheirwritingalsothinksKyo'srealnameisKyonkichiXD.**

**Guess what else else else? IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER SO SAVOR IT!**

**Parental warning: contains OOC content.**

* * *

They had staggered inside, completely caked in mud, the both of them. I didn't know what to do. I thought perhaps they had gotten into another fight, but then, when Kyo-kun set Yuki-kun down on the couch, I was sure something had changed. Af first I was unsure, but then I watched Kyo-kun wipe Yuki-kun's forehead, and even brought him a blanket...oh, Yuki-kun, if you had been concious, you would have seen the tender way Kyo-kun looked at you...it was just sweet. 

I had never thought the two of them would reconcile, but now, I'm doing my laundry, and Kyo-kun stops by in the doorway, I'm sure this would have happened someday, no matter what the circumstances. It was so funny, so cute, such a long time ago, when Yuki-kun had that horrible ashtma attack, and Kyo-kun was watching him, standing back a little, afraid. It was so obvious to me that Kyo-kun had these feelings, and so obvious that he was locking them up. He was so fightened of admitting it, but now I think he'll find a more worthwhile way to take out his energy and anger.

"Uh, Tohru?" Kyo asks me. I already know what he's going to say, but I play along. Someday he'll have to tell someone who doesn't already know, so why doesn't he get it some practice?

"Yes?" I reply, moving the iron along a crease in one Shigure's spare kimonos.

"Uh, you know that day last week when...it was raining, and I spent the afternoon in the woods?"

"Yes?" This'll be priceless.

"Well...me 'n Yuki...we're kinda..."

"What is it, Kyo-kun?" I wish I had a camera. This would make Japan's Funniest Home Videos for sure!

"Together. We're together." Kyo's blushing so hard, I think he might burst into flames. Should I torture him some more...no, that would just be cruel.

"Kyo-kun, that's wonderful!" I exclaim, my feelings finally bursting through after I've pretended not to notice for the entire week - I wanted to wait until they were ready to tell me. "I always knew it, I knew from the way you looked at him, I knew! You were so put out when you found out you had to share a room with him, those times, poor awkward Kyo-kun, but now...!"

"Y-you're not mad?" Kyo's suprised expression is so cute! He really does look like a kitty sometimes!

"Why would I be mad? You two are so cute together!" I gush. "This is just so perfect!"

"Perfect?" He asks, looking a bit confused. I know what he's thinking - he's thinking I'm in love with someone else, but that's not true. Maybe someday, I will find happiness, and but they come first. I've had so many years of happiness with my mom, and even earlier, with my father, while Yuki-kun's been locked away and Kyo-kun will be (not if I can help it!), they deserve a little ice cream at the end of the lima beans!

_Besides,_

_I've got no right to go falling in love._

_I've got no right to desert you._

_I've got no right to put myself before you._

_I've got no right to shame you like that._

_The number one place in my heart_

_Will always be your's,_

_Okasan._

* * *

"Y-you're sure about this?" 

"Yes." Kyo insisted calmly, handing the girl behind the counter his application.

"B-b-b-bu-bu..." The girl's, who's name Kyo did not know, eyes grew very round. She glanced at the name on the application form (Sohma Kyo) to Kyo's face (indifferent, slightly impatient), and to the senior behind her (Minagawa Motoko). She spoke again, trying to harness some sanity. "B-but y-you _hate _him!"

"I thought I did. I changed my mind."

"W-well, it's not l-like you're the first guy..." The girl turned around and handed the application to Motoko. At her words, Haru, Manabe Kakeru and Takei Makoto waved from the assembled group inside the room, Haru winked at Kyo, but Kyo did not back down.

"We'll proccess your application," Motoko told Kyo after a moment's study of the sheet of paper. "Obviously some exceptions must be made to the rules in your case, because you have testified that you cannot arrange alternate living arrangements, due to family circumstances, but you do understand that you will not be allowed to talk to him without at least two other members of this club, touch him unless in very crowded circumstances, or any other kind of infracton upon the rules?"

"On second thought," Kyo told her, smiling politely. "Get me the hell out of here." He turned tail, and ran for his life's worth.

"Hey, you're missing out!" Manabe called after him.

"Well, maybe he's the smart one. We don't even get dental...or health benefits..." Haru complained. Motoko turned around swiftly, having previously been yelling at Kyo's back.

"SHUT IT!" She roared in his face. Haru held up a hand, and was about to say the words "say it don't spray it", but decided it wouldn't really help in this circumstance, and shut it.

"Psh," Said the pig-tailed girl. "We don't need scum like him in the Prince Yuki Fan Club, anyway."

* * *

I suppose I'm glad they're happy. I don't really know. I don't know if I _can_ feel happy anymore - there's only one thing that makes me happy. 

Her.

But we'll never be like they are, at least not any time soon, I know that. She's too controlling, I'm too obedient, Kureno-kun and Ren are in the way, so I guess I'm just jealous. Maybe I was supposed to be jealous, maybe that's just how it has to be. I don't _want _to envy them, but sometimes I see them, walking together when they think I'm inside, holding hands, just talking, singing together, writing poems, arguing playfully, side by side, and when they do get into a fight, they're willing to work for a solution. I can't help but want that, because when _we _get into an argument, it's her way, her way, all the time. There's no innocence, no sweet, childish love between us.

But now it's too late. I took hers away, and she'll never be that way again. I was greedy. I pushed too hard, far to hard. I didn't know when to stop, I still don't, and now she'll never be that happy, sweet, innocent child again. But of course, by the time I ruined her, it was too late. She was already gone, or she was going. That's what I tell myself, and perhaps it is true. But she was never happy, so I figured I might was well give her a slice of pleasure to make up for it.

But I didn't. I know I didn't.

She was in pain, I know. I could see it in her eyes, although she was far too proud to tell me so. I was a fool - I am a fool. I know what we're doing together, me and her - we can't be happy, we can't be peaceful, we can't be in tune the way they are, so we're trying to ruin it for them. But she doesn't know, not yet - I will have to tell her, I know that, but I'm unwilling, for once - so she's trying to ruin the sweetest, most innocent of them all - but I know she can't hurt the sweet little flower, not the way she thinks she can, anyway, because I haven't told her.

I'm unwilling, for once, because I know they'll never forgive me. I will tell her, because I know them never forgiving me is an eternity better than her not forgiving me. I'm unwilling, for once, because they're so happy, and it's almost managing to warm my cold heart. I will tell her, because my heart can never be warmed. I'm unwilling, because the sweet flower will be heartbroken if they're unhappy. But I will tell her, because the sweet flower is nothing, nothing at all, compared to her.

Their lovely Tohru wilts, in my eyes, when compared to my precious Akito.

* * *

**It's finally over, so sad**

**There's no more to write for this fic**

**However, all your lovely reviews**

**Have made me a very happy chick**

**I had to end the story**

**I'm sorry**

**Must I say it?**

**_Owari_**


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